Dear Professor Death

Dear Professor Death,

I’ve heard that there are women who are attracted to convicted murderers and wife-slayers and I have to admit, I don’t get it. Even known serial killers have dozens of women seeking relationships with them. What gives? What makes a serial killer so attractive?

Kate in Calgary

Dear Kate,

What an interesting topic! There is actually a term for women who are romantically and sexually attracted to men who commit heinous crimes: Hybristophilia, also nicknamed the “Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome”. The hybristophiliac romanticizes the criminal and you’re right––serial killers receive more than their fair share of love letters in prison.

Ted Bundy, probably the most famous of US serial killers, received many hundreds of love letters while incarcerated. He proposed to long term supporter Carol Ann Boone during his trial––while she was on the witness stand. She said yes and they were declared married without a ceremony due to an obscure Florida law that states a marriage declaration in court, in front of a judge, constitutes a legal marriage. Boone eventually came to her senses and divorced Bundy before his execution when he confessed to multiple rapes, kidnappings, and murders.

Shirley Joyce Book tried to woo Ted Bundy, and when that failed, went after convicted Los Angeles serial rapist and murderer, Kenneth Bianchi, otherwise known as the Hillside Strangler. The strangler turned out to be a duo, Bianchi and his cousin Angelo Buono, Jr. Book and Bianchi corresponded for three years before meeting and marrying while he was in prison.

Carol Spadoni corresponded with convicted wife-killer Phillip Jablonski while he served time in San Quentin and eventually married him. Bad luck for her. They married in ’82. Jablonski was released in ’90. Despite a restraining order to stay away from his wife’s home, he killed Carol, her mother, and at least three other women and landed back in prison.

Hybristophilia isn’t a common condition, but it’s a regular occurrence for male prisoners, often involving their lawyers, therapists, and female prison employees. Many serial killers are masters at manipulating women and can appear charming when they wish. The reasons behind hybristophilia are numerous.

The killers are seen as powerful, and many women are attracted to power. Power dynamics often play a role in desire and attraction.

Belief that the women can change/reform the killer––which makes the woman the powerful one.

They want attention from family, friends, media; to share in the spotlight, maybe get a book deal.

It’s the perfect, no strings relationship. She always knows where he is and gets to skip the day-to-day irritants of an in person relationship.

The women like feeling needed. It gives them a sense of purpose.

To be honest, I don’t get it either. While both sexes can experience hybristophilia, it is more common in women. The consequences can be severe. Family and friends may abandon the individual. They may face social stigma. (Several of the women I researched have dropped from the face of the earth, including Boone, who married Ted Bundy.)

The condition can be treated and there are support groups available. According to the Neurolaunch website, “The journey to unravel the mysteries of hybristophilia is far from over. As we delve deeper into the human psyche, we may find that this perplexing attraction holds keys to understanding broader aspects of human nature, desire, and the eternal struggle between good and evil. It’s a reminder that the human mind is capable of the most unexpected connections, even in the darkest of circumstances.” https://neurolaunch.com/about/