Professor Death March 2025 Letter

Dear Professor Death,

My brother-in-law forages for mushrooms in the woods near our town. He always shares what he finds, but I can’t bring myself to cook with them because I’m afraid he’ll make a mistake and poison me. After he leaves I throw them out, then lie to him about how good they were. I saw an episode of Midsomer Murders once where a chef was poisoned with mushrooms so I believe it can happen. My husband says I’m being ridiculous. What do you think?

Paranoid Patty

Dear Paranoid,

Many people forage for wild mushrooms and I hear there are some particularly tasty species. I can’t verify this as I don’t know anyone who shares what they forage and I’m not educated enough to pick them myself.

That said, there is one especially deadly mushroom known as the Death Cap, Amanita Phalloides, responsible for 90% of all mushroom poisoning deaths. One half of a Death Cap can kill an adult human. Originally native to Europe, they are now invasive on every continent except Antartica. They look similar to several edible species which explains why there are accidental fatalities every year.

The Death Cap contains three toxins, but only one is responsible for the mushroom’s deadly fame. Amatoxins lead to liver and kidney failure and death. The toxins cannot be destroyed by any method of cooking, freezing, or drying. They are said to have a pleasant taste.

Symptoms begin 6-24 hours after ingestion, including cramps, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Because of the delay in symptoms people often don’t realize they’ve been poisoned and don’t seek treatment. The symptoms let up after two to three days, fooling the victim into believing everything is fine, while the amanitin toxin is actually destroying their liver and kidneys.

Scientists may have recently found an antidote for the killer toxin, a green dye used for medical imaging called indocyanine green that stops the amanitin dead in its tracks. Research is still underway, but it looks promising.

For your own peace of mind, Patty, I would not eat any wild-foraged mushrooms. If you like your brother-in-law, I would sit him down and thank him for his generosity and ask him not to waste any more of his precious harvests on you. Tell him why. He may shake his head and call you crazy, but so what? You will never have to wonder if the sudden onset of flu is actually a Death Cap poisoning.